Can't make new friends? Always overthinking and overanalyzing every social interaction? Tired of being alone? It may be time for you to change the way you're thinking about making new friends. Instead of worrying about how dumb or weird you come across, you need to change your thinking to focus on the people you're meeting and not on yourself.
It's time for you to try these 7 tricks.
That's right. Smile.
Meeting new people isn't rocket science. Something as simple as smiling can really give you the advantage.
And though it's not rocket science, science does confirm that smiling helps us make new friends. Turns out, we are extremely sensitive to other people's positive emotions. When someone smiles, other people not only notice but are positively impacted by that smile. This primes the pump for a warm interaction and a future friendship.
So it really doesn't hurt to smile when you're struggling to make new friends.
Other people are fascinating. And you have to start seeing them as such when you're trying to make new connections.
Don't see people as obstacles or annoyances. In order to start making friends, be genuinely curious about other people.
Ask questions, observe them closely, really watch and listen.
I like to play a game I call Curious Detective to be a better people observer. But whatever gets you to make it about them and not about yourself will get you back on track to meeting some new friends.
If I had my way, I might just stay in my house and let the world pass me by. But I know how important it is to meet people, make connections, and foster relationships, so I make sure to get out into the world.
I tried the Small Talk Challenge to jumpstart my chatter with strangers and now I'm hooked. I make it a point to get out of the house at least once a day to try to meet new people.
Plus, small talk with strangers makes you happier. And don't we all wanna be happier?
Look for ways to compliment and help others. Altruism is a good way to start making new friends. No one wants to be friends with a meany.
Do favors and give compliments. Hold doors and carry bags for people. But make sure not to have ulterior motives. Help people for the sake of helping.
Be kind to others and they're much more likely to be kind to you.
Connect with people by relating to their experience in the world. It will open up a whole new avenue for conversation.
When people are from the same place or going through the same experience, they have something to talk about. Currently, I'm in the midst of raising a toddler, so I find toddler talk an easy example of common ground I can use to start meeting new people and making new friends.
If you practice finding common ground with others, you're also much less likely to be confrontational or negative, sure fire ways to sabotage any budding friendship.
Once you start to connect with someone, you need to maintain consistent contact in order to foster that new friendship.
A study found that the key to maintaining relationships is simply the persistence and reciprocity of the communication in those relationships. Simply put, when someone calls you, call them back. When they text, reply. When they invite you somewhere, go.
This can be tough in our busy-go-go world, but before you complain about not having friends, ask yourself whether or not you're doing the heavy lifting of calling, texting, DMing, emailing, snapping, tweeting, and...imagine it...hanging out with them IRL.
A sense of play and fun is also important to start new relationships. Life should be fun, and people are drawn to and bonded through shared laughter.
Shared laughter brings people together by communicating that we have a similar worldview as our laughing partner. That brings people together.
Laughing with someone brings you closer together, so don't take yourself too seriously if you're hankering to make some new friends.
Forming new bonds requires us to stop overanalyzing ourselves and start paying deeper attention to others. It requires us to share experiences and put other's interests before our own self-interest.
A sense of playfulness can jump start those connections.
I've developed over 100 everyday games from my research on improv and how it alters and improves our brains.
Check out those everyday games here.
And subscribe to receive even more everyday games via email, games that will never be on the website.
But even more importantly, get out there and start opening yourself up to new relationships with a sense of childlike joy and enthusiasm.
Let me know how these 7 tricks are working for you in the comments below.